happier
by musicormisery22
Summary: Oneshot following 3x15 :


_Happier_

It's about 9:20 am. and Nate's just barely awake, though there's just one thought on his mind, Serena.

He moves his head just a little bit to his right side just to see if she's still there,if she's finally his now, if _she's not going to leave him again _(the only thing he hates about her … leaving him.

Okay honestly he can't hate even one thing about her, not even if this thing as broken his heart so many times in the past. Because now it isn't _the past _it's the future, _their future_.).

And she is, all of it.

She's lying right next to him, all cuddled onto his side, wrapped into his arms.

He can't stop but looking at her she _is_ all his, his sleeping beauty, _his Serena_ (that explains all for him; Ever since the first time he ever met her when they were about 3 years old; on a sunny summer day, her hair sparkling like yellow diamonds in the sun, her navy blue eyes shining; he knew this name, _her name_, means more than just a word. It means _everything_.)

He cautiously brushes a stand of hair out of her face, very cautiously- he really doesn't want to risk waking her up.

Not when she looks that happy, that adorable, that _peacefully_.

But he can't stop himself from fondling her cheek just the tightest bit, feeling her soft skin underneath his fingertips, watching her smile growing up to a breathtaking grin when she notices.

''Good morning, beautiful'' he whispers lovely in her ear.

She hasn't opened her eyes yet but he know that she's awake, her smile when he presses his lips to her temple gave her away.

''Good morning, Natie.'' she responses, eyes still closed.

Natie? She hasn't called him this in years but somehow he was glad she did.

It reminds him of the time when everything wasn't so complicated...

Running around on the beach in their summer holidays in the Hamptons.

Chasing each other down falling together in the warm water when Blair left them alone for yet another ''beauty-day'' she pretended to need.

He still sees Serena's suntanned face and her blue eyes on this day when he closes his eyelids.

She looked so gorgeous , not that she wouldn't does always but this happiness in her lively movements, this free spirited, he has missed it all these years they didn't talked much, lost the contact.

But then he realizes that he doesn't have to _remember_ these days;

She was on his side now, right next to him- even _happier_ then back then.

He presses a gently kiss to her forehead and to strengthens his embrace around her just a bit to pull her closer.

''It feels good you and me, doesn't it'' he asks still with a low and clam voice.

Now, finally, she opens her eyes and turns her head to focuses her look at his eyes.

Blue on blue, perfection.

''It feels like it have to be this way.''

Still her glace hasn't turned away from his eyes, her voice honest 'cause it's true- it was always meant to be.

She takes the hand that's stroking her arm up and down and intertwines her fingers with his.

''It does''

''Nate, we should talk about the not talking much about of feelings think. I want …''

He cuts her off with a simple ''shh'' and a finger on his lips.

Now he turns a little more to her side to make sure she's not looking away.

''Serena, if you don't want to talk about these things I won't push you! It's who you are, and I accept it, everything about you. I won't try to change anything !''

''No! This time you've got it wrong. After all this years of not talking I want to!''

She pauses just for a few seconds to study his eyes, to see that he's okay with it, all of it.

Then she continues with a louder, more confident voice.

''So please let me tell you some things now. Yes?''

''Everything.'' he agrees with a clam smile on his lips.

''Great'' she replies with the an even brighter smile.

''Okay... I already told you about the thing with _that night._ I was dump and insane for leaving you.

I thought I couldn't handle it, _us. The change._

I always knew that you are on of the most important persons in my life but after this night, in this moment I knew that It's more than this. So I ran away. Ran away to protect me, _protect you _from getting hurt, protecting us from falling into something we couldn't have dealed with.... but _now we can_! Now I couldn't handle being _without you._''

As he runs his right hand her over back she pulls away.

She sits up a bit covering her her face with her hands.

She wasn't used to talk about her feelings and the thought of being without him scares her now.

As he notices a single tear he sits up,too.

''No Serena, please don't! Everything's alright.''

He wraps his arms around her again, pulling her into a close hug, comforting her.

After a few minutes he eases the embrace placing his hands on both sides of her face.

''I could never...''

Now she lifts up her eyes and positions one hand on his wrist.

''I love you, remember? '' he says honest with a deep voice.

These words are all that it takes to stop her fear, to take her worries away.

All that she needs right now, all that she could ever need.

''I love you and don't dare to think about a ''without you''! I'm staying with you, your problem if you want me to go''

He smiles as she couldn't hold a little laugh.

'' I know'' it's more a whisper than an actual sentence.

She places her head on his chest now, forcing him to lay down again.

Silence.

Not a bothering silence.

More a clam and peaceful ''no-need-for-words''-silence.

His arms are around her again and she runs her fingers up and down his arm.

It's Serena to break the stillness.

''I love you,too''

The words she feared the most all the time with Dan are now the words she needs to say.

Needs to say to believe he's finally her's now, that it's true.

Needs to say because she loves the sound of his voice when he replays that he feels the same way about her.

Needs to say to take her fear away, her fear that he's like all the others- Dan, Carter, Tripp, Aaron, Gabriel,... the guys who broke her heart.

She knows that he's not like them and she doesn't asks why he loves her 'cause she sees it in his eyes.

She believes him.

It was always there.

Even when both of them were with someone else, it has always been his eyes that gave him away.

She closes he eyes again, lets the feeling sink.

They stay like this for a while until Serena takes a look at the clock.

''Oh dammit it's 10:20!!!'' she sits up abruptly again.

''and?'' Nate replies suddenly confused. What's the sudden rush?

''You have class at 10:30!'' Serena answers fast.

He hasn't moved an inch.

But he's smiling 'cause it's adorable how she knows his schedule already better than himself.

''So you want me to leave'' Nate asks teasing and sits up to.

''No! **But you have class in 10 minutes!**'' she answers a bit frowning .

''Oh c'mon, Serena. Since when do you care about class?'' he laughts.

''And anyway no one's going to miss me there'' he adds teasing.

''But I will?'' Serena asks with an ironic tone.

Of course she will.

''I hope so''

''Got me'' she admits hiking her shoulders and then pulling Nate into a passionate kiss.


End file.
